Tag Archives: The Rapture

The Final Countdown

21 May

Well, Judgement Day is officially upon us and the outlook so far is…

… pretty quiet, actually.

Sure, there are celebrations planned by godless heathens across America, but as I write this there seems to be little in the way of giant earthquakes, wailing and gnashing of teeth, screams of the damned and all the other signs we were promised. I appreciate the Hieronymus Bosch-style renderings of ravening demons and heavenly trumpets are the products of mediæval imaginings, but where are all the piles of clothing left behind by millions of raptured True Christians™ ? The airliners and cars careering out of control with nobody at the helm? I’d even settle for a message in the clouds reading “Game Over. Press START to play again.”

It’s not as if this is all some vague, shadowy portent of doom we’re talking about here. Harold Camping and his Family Radio Worldwide have gone on record as being absolutely certain. Phrases such as “Without a shadow of a doubt” and “There is no Plan B” don’t leave much room for manoeuvre.

Of course, when this is all over Camping and his cronies will probably be consigned to the ever-increasing ranks of False Prophets – thus, ironically, becoming a sign of the End Times themselves. It’s worth considering that false prophets are almost never labelled as such before their prophecies fail and the next prophet comes along.

It’s all rather sad, really.

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Carry On, Camping!

21 Apr

Meet Harold Camping:

That cheerful-looking gentleman is the president of a religious radio network based in California of which he is an evangelist mouthpiece. Perhaps it’s just me, but that picture makes him look like the sort of person for whom the word ‘camping’ would be le mot juste; but I digress.

This particular idiot character has been setting the internet buzzing for a while now with his End of the World™ prediction – and just for a change, it’s not December 21 2012. According to the prophet Harry, Judgement Day (AKA Armageddon, The Rapture) has been scheduled by Yaweh for May 21, 2011. That’s right; precisely one month away from this posting. It’s especially interesting because Family Radio claim to be a non-profit organisation (groan).

What? You want some proof, you say? You don’t think a real scientist (he has a B.S. in Civil Engineering) would make claims like that based purely on nothing, do you?

Well, yes as it happens. He’s applied a numerological system of his own invention to the xtian bible to come up with:

 By careful study of the Bible we learn that in the year 4990 B.C. (Before Christ) God brought a flood of water and destroyed the entire earth except for eight people and the animals that were with them. They were not destroyed because God brought them into the safety of the ark. Their leader, Noah, had obeyed God’s command to build a huge boat, called an ark, about 450 feet (137 meters) long.

The Holy Bible tells us in Hebrews 11:7:

By faith Noah, being warned of God of things not seen as yet, moved with fear, prepared an ark to the saving of his house; by the which he condemned the world, and became heir of the righteousness which is by faith.

Seven days before the beginning of the Flood that completely covered the entire earth, God commanded Noah to warn the peoples of the world that they had seven days to get into the safety of the ark. The Holy Bible tells us that on the 17th day of the 2nd month of that year God shut the door of the ark. Then, the Flood began to completely cover the entire earth.

About 5,000 years later God wrote in His Holy Bible in 2 Peter Chapter 3 about this worldwide destruction by water in the days of Noah. In the same chapter He also warned that the time would come when Holy God would destroy the whole world by fire. Our entire universe would be forever destroyed. In between these two declarations of worldwide destruction that would come because of sin God made a very important statement. God declared in 2 Peter 3:8:

But, beloved, be not ignorant of this one thing, that one day is with the Lord as a thousand years, and a thousand years as one day.

God had written in the Holy Bible in Genesis 7:4:

For yet seven days, and I will cause it to rain upon the earth forty days and forty nights; and every living substance that I have made will I destroy from off the face of the earth.

God added in Genesis 7:10-11:

And it came to pass after seven days, that the waters of the Flood were upon the earth. In the six hundredth year of Noah’s life, in the second month, the seventeenth day of the month, the same day were all the fountains of the great deep broken up, and the windows of heaven were opened.

The ark that Noah had built was the only place of safety from the destruction of the Flood. Likewise, God’s gracious mercy is the only place of safety from the destruction that is coming on the Day of Judgment.

In 2 Peter 3:8, which is quoted above, Holy God reminds us that one day is as 1,000 years. Therefore, with the correct understanding that the seven days referred to in Genesis 7:4 can be understood as 7,000 years, we learn that when God told Noah there were seven days to escape worldwide destruction, He was also telling the world there would be exactly 7,000 years (one day is as 1,000 years) to escape the wrath of God that would come when He destroys the world on Judgment Day. Because Holy Infinite God is all-knowing, He knows the end from the beginning. He knew how sinful the world would become.

Seven thousand years after 4990 B.C. (the year of the Flood) is the year 2011 A.D. (our calendar).

4990 + 2011 – 1 = 7,000

[One year must be subtracted in going from an Old Testament B.C. calendar date to a New Testament A.D. calendar date because the calendar does not have a year zero.]

Thus Holy God is showing us by the words of 2 Peter 3:8 that He wants us to know that exactly 7,000 years after He destroyed the world with water in Noah’s day, He plans to destroy the entire world forever. Because the year 2011 A.D. is exactly 7,000 years after 4990 B.C. when the flood began, the Bible has given us absolute proof that the year 2011 is the end of the world during the Day of Judgment, which will come on the last day of the Day of Judgment.

Amazingly, May 21, 2011 is the 17th day of the 2nd month of the Biblical calendar of our day. Remember, the flood waters also began on the 17th day of the 2nd month, in the year 4990 B.C.

And that’s just a sample. The rest is here, if you really must.

To summarise:

  • The Great Flood happened in 4990 BC (I know – just roll with it, ok?)
  • Noah had 7 days to build, crew, load and sail The Ark;
  • “one day is with the Lord as a thousand years”;
  • 4990 BC + 7000 years = 2011 (you have to fudge around the Year 0 thing)

A couple of questions spring to mind, however. If “one day = a thousand years”, where do the forty days of The Flood fit in? They were supposed to take place after the seven days warning. Did the deluge last forty thousand years? And how much time did the forty nights represent? Then there’s all that stuff about knowing not the hour the Lord doth come, thus making prophecies of it pointless. By which I mean pointless for scriptural reasons, we all know the exercise is pointles for reality reasons.

Hmm. Fundy reasoning: now with 75% more self-contradiction.

And before the apologists start all the damage limitation and spin, let’s not forget that Camping previously said the world would end on September 6.

1994.

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