Go back to sleep, Pat.

13 Jan


Ultra-right-wing Conservative and former Baptist minister Pat Robertson, the raddled Kermit the Frog of Christian Broadcasting Network, has still got it. Though whether anyone would want it is very doubtful.Displaying the same laserlike, rational intellect and awareness of reality that won him an Ig Nobel Prize in 2011 for his many astounding predictions, alongside such luminaries as Harold Camping (“for teaching the world to be careful when making mathematical assumptions and calculations”), Robertson spoke out on his magazine show the 700 Club – sadly nothing to do with him actually being attacked with seven hundred clubs – about the dangers of rock music. You know, like those long haired whipper-snapping kids enjoy these days, while they’re messing up my lawn, smoking glue and saying “gosh-darn it to heck” all the time and why can’t they just get a job for chrissakes?

Apparently, it – oh hell, I’ll just let him say it:

“Some of the stuff is just evil. They used to talk about killing your parents and there were just some other things. There were odes to Satan. You don’t want that stuff coming into your mind. There’s some beat that’s out there that, you know, probably isn’t all that bad, although in one Indian context, they were playing rock music and the person said, ‘Why are you calling on the demons?,’ because that was the kind of music they used to summon demons.”


Yeah, Pat, all those demons luring the kids to Hell with the Harry Potter and the whatever else normal people do for fun. They should just stop being silly and believe in your magic sky pixie instead, right?

Actually, there is some evidence that the controlling media have been targetting children specifically with paganistic, arguably even Satanic, music at least as far back as the seventies. Anyone growing up in the UK at that time will be familiar with Bagpuss, the loveable saggy old cloth cat who emerged for the Spring season in 1974. Among the many characters were the mice who lived on the Mouse Organ and who always chimed in with their charming little song as they repaired whatever havoc the previous twn minutes had wrought:


Pay very close attention to the melody. Play it again if you need to. Now hold that thought.

Compare it to this, from 1973, as Christoper Lee and Britt Ekland are burning Edward Woodward:


Aren’t you just picturing the final, banned episode of Bagpuss where all the toys sacrifice little Emily to the old gods in a giant wicker Professor Yaffle? I know I am; and now I’m having trouble thinking of anything else.

Oh well. In any event, someone should play this to Robertson. He’d probably explode and do everyone a favour.


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