Sell me your god!

15 Jan

As an atheist, I am occasionally asked (usually in a snide, derisory way) what would change my mind. The implication is that atheists reject any and all evidence of the supernatural, regardless of whether or not it’s rational to do so. Whatever is being discussed, we will always take the contrary position out of pride (or sheer bloody-mindedness). A common rider is that secretly we know the reality of god/s but outwardly reject it because we enjoy sinning too much. Which is a half-truth.

After giving it much thought, I’ve come up with an idea. For the purposes of experiment, I am going to be in the market for a god. Doesn’t matter which flavour, or how vengeful/spiteful/whatever it is. I am asking anyone who is a True Believer to exercise your salesman skills and sell your god to me.

What have you got to lose? Here I am, to all intents and purposes a lost sheep, actively wanting to be converted. How good are you at harvesting new souls for the faith? All you need to do is convince me. Bring your best arguments, paint your god in glowing colours, really push it for all you think it’s worth. Make me want to buy.

You can either email me or post comments below. If your comment doesn’t show up right away, don’t assume I’m censoring you. You’re just stuck in the moderation queue and I can’t guarantee my online presence every day (I have a life too, you know). Calm down and be assured I will get round to you.

Everyone else, I would ask you to spread the word. Facebook, Twitter, StumbleUpon – whatever it takes, let’s take this show on the road. Any resemblance to shameless blog-whoring is partially coincidental.

Assuming my little experiment attracts any responses, I shall post them at a later date.

What you could win!

Everlasting paradise, sitting at the right hand of your pet god of choice (or on it, if that’s what floats yer boat). Sorry, there are no cash alternatives.

What this is not

This is not an invitation for evangelical spam. If all you have is a collection of non-context bible or qur’an quotes, you have nothing. Certainly not a customer.

Neither is this an open invitation for preachy sermonising. I don’t need someone crowing about being better than I am because they believe, nor how I am doomed to eternal torment and torture unless I repent and sign up. It’s hard to imagine hundreds of thousands of new cars being sold in the UK each year with such a fire ‘n’ brimstone attitude.

Please, no Poes. It’s hard enough as it is without the waters being unnecessarily muddied.

Finally: before posting anything, please refer to this list of clichés. If any part of your sales pitch is on there, it shall be declared to be spam by definition.

These ground rules should not be considered exhaustive; I retain the right to judge each submission on its own merits (or lack thereof) and decide accordingly how best to handle it.

What are you waiting for? Don’t you want to start racking up those heavenly brownie points? Do you have the courage of your priest’s convictions? Bring it on!


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